More trying, less crying
A good friend of mine has a strong willed, 7 year old daughter, that doesn't like to fail. This leads to a lot of tears over a bruised ego. She continually cries and wants to give up when faced with a challenge or doesn't get her way. When she is in this mindset, I say to her “Less crying, more trying”.
While having coffee with a colleague, I told him about this little girl and he laughed and said, “I need to say that phrase to myself more often”. He said, “Sometimes, when I look at myself in the mirror, the reflection is not what I want to see. Not because I am an ugly guy but because my attitude isn’t where I know it should be. I am throwing myself a pity party.” I tell myself, “Next time I see you, you better not look like this. Rather than trying, I start crying”. He then suggested that I write a blog post about this topic. We nicknamed it, “The adult pity party”.
We all throw ourselves a “pity party” when we don’t get our way, our feelings get hurt or we feel something is not fair. There is nothing wrong with it, unless it lasts too long. As adults, some of us cry about it, while others hold on to it. We reliving it through our daily gossip with coworkers and friends and sometimes through the negative tape recordings we play in our head. We send ourselves messages that aren't true such as "The reason I didn't get the job promotion is because my boss doesn't like me. I’m not good enough. I don’t deserve it, or someone else can do it better than me." Rather than hitting the stop or mute button, we allow it to play on repeat in our head and these then become our beliefs. The next thing you know, a week, month or year has passed us by.
I challenge you to be more aware of when you need to hit your STOP or MUTE button. Sometimes, I say to myself, “STOP IT” to help my brain pause in the moment and redirect my thought process. If you need help recognizing your tape recorder and pity party, I want to talk to you. It may be just the thing that is hindering you from achieving your next goal.